Men and women have two completely different ways of communicating. More misunderstandings and hurt feelings have resulted from the fact that men and women express themselves in such completely different way. This is what makes understanding the opposite so difficult.
That is why I’m creating the Decoding Men Translator. I’ll be taking come phrases men say and what they really mean when they say it. I’ll also be going over common phrases women say and what men think when they hear it. If there is a phrase you hear all the time and you want to know what he really means by it, just leave a comment below with the phrase.
He Says: You are a great person
What He Means: He is not sexually attracted to you and he does not want to go on another date with you. He is trying to distract you with a nice compliment so he can avoid telling you that he has no interest in you. That way he can get out of the conversation without hurting your feelings and making you upset.
He Says: Let’s be friends
What He Means: He has absolutely no sexual attraction to you, but he is hoping that perhaps you have a bunch of good looking girlfriends that you will eventually introduce him too. If a man says you should be friends and you are hoping that he will eventually want to date you, don’t! Men don’t want to be friends with women they are attracted too.
He Says: I’m not looking for a relationship right now
Its means that he has no interest in having a relationship with you! However, he would be more then happy to have sex with you on a regular basis. When he finally finds someone he wants to have a relationship with, he can break things off with you and he is never the bad guy. Saying he was not looking for a relationship is his get out of jail free card. You can’t call him a jerk, because he was honest with you.
The problem is he is not being honest with you, if he was being honest he would really have said “I’m really not that into you, but you would be ok for a sex buddy from time to time until I can find something better.”
What He Thinks When
You Say: We need To Talk
He Thinks: Crap, I’m in big trouble. What have I done that could have gotten me in trouble? Think, think, think. What have I said, done, or even just thought about that could have made her upset? I better figure this out quickly, because I need to figure out a game plan on how I’m going to get out of it. Otherwise, I will have to resort to my only defense for getting out of trouble, act stupid.
I have absolutely no idea what I have done wrong recently, she is probably upset about something stupid I did 5 years ago. Like when I didn’t notice she had purchased new shoes or had a new hair cut or when I said I didn’t like her outfit and she thought I said she was fat or when I looked at that cute girl at the beach.
I’m not in the mood to deal with this right now, instead I will just not answer the phone and pretend as if my cellphone ran out of power. That way I can say I didn’t get the message and hopefully she will forget what she is upset about and that can at least give me more time to figure out what I did wrong. Think harder, I need to come up with an excuse.
Maybe I will just call my friends and see if they know, either way I need to have this figured out before I see her. Crap, she is pulling up the drive way. Maybe I can make a run for it out the back? No, she knows I’m here cause my car is parked out front. Its too late, remember just play stupid. She can’t get upset at you, if you don’t understand what you have done. Hopefully she will take pity on you for being so stupid.
This is just the first of many translations to come, so make sure you have signed up to the Decoding Men newsletter, so you can be one of the first women in the world to understand exactly how men think. You will get all the Man Talk Translations sent straight to your email.
If there is a phrase you have heard from men on a number of occasions that you would like translated, just send us a quick email and we will add it to the next installment of our Man Talk Translator. Send Your Question Here
Sincerely,
Paul Wright
paulwright@decodingmen.com
I have one for you that I’d like to get translated. I had this bus buddy at university and one day he got a car so he stopped going on the bus. He would sometimes drop me off but not once did he crack on to me. A few years later, out of sight, out of mind, the guy texts me to hit on me. When I turn him down cos I’m already in a relationship, he said that he thought I was always waiting for him…. is there a translation behind this one?
if only there was a man translator app that we could switch on all the time… *sigh*
@Carol There is a translation for this. Its called he was hoping you would hit on him but you never did. Now after a few years, he has finally grown a pair of testicles and built up the courage to ask you out via text. So he hasn’t really built up that much courage. When it back fires, he makes up a lame excuse putting the responsibility on you. That way he doesn’t look so bad.
Harsh, but probably correct. I didn’t realize men were so future-oriented and sneaky when it comes to language. I thought only girls did mind tricks like that!
Wow! Talk about sneaky. But you’re probably right on these phrases. I have one that is commonly used I think by guys.
“Can we go somewhere else where we can talk?”
This usually means the guys wants to get on with the girl already.
How about this one? “I’m not ready to jump into an exclusive relationship yet but I do like everything about you.”
What he is saying is “I want to have sex with you, but I’m really not that interested in you to have a relationship. If I tell you that I’m not that interested, you won’t have sex with me. Therefore I will tell you I’m very interested in you (Everything about you is perfect). The problem is me (I’m not ready to commit). Hopefully that way you will be ok with just having sex.”
Basically what he is trying to do is convince you that you might have a chance to get him to commit, if you sleep with him. Many women love to fix a man or convince him she is good enough to commit too. The problem is having sex with a guy, will rarely ever convince him to commit. So eventually you will become upset because you will realize he was never going to commit. This is where the plan is perfect because he never asked you for sex and he told you from the very beginning that he was not ready to commit. In fact, he was very clear that he was not ready to commit, so if you misunderstood the sex you had, that is your fault.
Got one for you: “You are so good to me. I really do care about you, just have a hard time showing it.” Great guy, we’ve been good friends about two years (hook up occasionally) …He’s just confusing as all hell.