You Attract What You Focus On

What You Focus On You AttractI constantly listen to female friends complaining about:

how they can’t find men to date

Where are all the single men

Its been so long since anybody even asked me on a date

I understand it can be very frustrating trying to find someone to date, especially when it seems all the men are taken.  One thing I have learned in life is its always best to look within yourself for the solution before you ever point the finger at anybody else.  One major hurdle I tend to find is that many women just expect a man to drop out of nowhere.  I’m sure you have noticed that in life if you really wanted something, you had to work hard to get it.  Well I hate to say it but dating and finding a man is the exact same thing.  If you want to meet a man you have to dedicate your time to finding a man.

I can’t even count how many women have told me, since they can’t seem to find a man they will just focus more on work, school, traveling, getting in shape  at the ladies only fitness center, etc.  Well I’m here to tell you, you attract what you focus on.  For example, if decide to focus the majority of your energy on work, then you can’t be surprised when 8 years later all you have is more work.  No man is going to rush up to a woman and say “Pardon me, I see that you work excessively long hours, and have no time for anything else is your life.  I thought I might be the one you have been looking for all your life.”

When a man sees or hears that a woman spends excessive amounts of time working and has time for nothing else, that is the way he understands it.  She does not have time for anything else in her life, including a relationship.  My time as a man would be better spent looking someone else for a potential partner.  Very few men think they are some white knight ready to save you from your terrible dating life.  They just think they are regular guys looking for a regular woman, who is available to have a relationship with.

Don’t forget, its very hard for men to find you when you are buried behind a stack of papers within your cubicle.  Which brings up another fact that reinforces the point.  The reason you attract more of what you focus on is because you are constantly around that environment.  Traveling is another example of this.  I had a family relative who wanted to see the world before settling down.  She spent much of her life traveling around, coming back and forth and living abroad for many years.  When she finally decided she wanted to get married, nobody was interested anymore.

What I mean by that is she spent so much of her free time either thinking about traveling, planning her next travel, or actually traveling.  What she didn’t do was focus on building friendships, connecting with people she lived around and forget about making friends some where else when you only live their a few months at a time.  The problem comes when you finally realize that traveling provides you with wonderful moments, it teaches you many lessons, but it does not build a life that will be remember by anybody else but the person doing the traveling.  My relative comes home, but now she doesn’t have a network of friends who she can get support from to help in her search to find a man.  The men she did know had all moved on with their lives while she was away.

We all attract more of what we focus on.  Focus on work, get more work! Focus on traveling, get more traveling! Focus on school, get more school!  If you want a man in your life, you must actively take time from your life and dedicate it to going out and socializing.  You can’t find a man hidden behind your biology book, all you get is more biology book.  Instead take some time each week to put down the book and socialize with those around you.  Or schedule a night out with the girls and just put yourself out there.

If you don’t actively take time to search for men, you can’t be surprised when men can’t find you. The definition of insanity “Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.” If you want to attract a man and your current life is not doing it, then you need to change what you are doing in your life.  Not by a lot, but enough to give a man a chance to find you.


Paul Wright

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *