The Danger Of Fairy Tales

The Difficulty Of Finding The Perfect ManFor a long time I have wanted to write about the influences fairy tales, fantasy books and movies have had on us as growing children.  As children our minds are highly impressionable.  We are bombarded by so many messages we don’t believe any of these subconscious influences ever leak through to affect our conscious mind and/or future decision making abilities.  However, when similar messages are continuously presented to us, slowly it can subconsciously influence the way we think.

Don’t believe me, I’m sure you have heard a friend say or have even said yourself:

“I’m just looking for my knight in shinning armor”

Where do you think this phrase comes from?  How does a teenager or woman in this modern age care about knights riding in on a beautiful white steed with bright shiny armor?

“I’m just looking for my Prince Charming”

We all know about this because of the stories we have been told in all the fairy tales. Every fairy tale has the brave prince who rescues our heroin.  The brave hero that will fight through insurmountable odds to rescue a woman he has only caught a glimpse of.

Don’t think it’s just fairy tales I’m picking on.  Harlequin novels all have the exact same story line.  It’s true characters are different, but the plot never seems to change.  Good looking yet dark mysterious man enters into innocent woman’s life.  He longs to be with her and she with him, but something in his past is preventing this.  The best part is that he knows exactly what to say and when to say it to leave the woman wanting more.  There is pain and turmoil in their life as they can not live without their secret love, until one day when the woman finally tames this dark mysterious man.

Harlequins have now evolved into this strange teen vampire love story.  Which essentially boils down to a hyper-mutated form of the harlequin.  Vampire meets girl, vampire wants to eat girl, vampire becomes tamed by girl, vampire falls in love with girl.  The only difference between the traditional harlequin and the vampire novels, is the once considered ugly and repulsive vampire has now become a gorgeous Demigod with supernatural powers and skin that shines like a disco ball in light.

Why Am I Telling You This…

I have spoken with far too many women who believe there is some perfect prince charming who was bitten by a vampire and has this dark troubled past, who will someday rescue her from a boring mundane life.

Here is a list I have heard from far too many women for it to be coincidence.  If you don’t believe me just peruse any female sections of an online dating.  I am sure you will find many of the women with a checklist similar to this one.  What do many women ask for in a man (this does not mean all women):

  • Over 6 feet tall
  • Good looking
  • Healthy and in good shape
  • I love big arms and nice abs
  • I want him to be funny, a good conversationalist, and a true romantic.
  • Someone who is spontaneous and adventurous.
  • I like a man who has an edge and mystery to him.
  • He has to have a decent job because I love traveling and going on adventures.
  • etc, etc, etc

Now individually each one of those is not a bad thing, but as the list continues (please know this list can go on for pages) that it starts sounding like either a fantasy character or a drug dealer.  A Prince charming with a brooding past that can sweep you off your feet and fly you around the world on amazing adventures.

How Do I Know This Man Does Not Exist?

Because all men are flawed human beings.  There is no perfect man, just as there is no perfect woman.  As human beings we are all flawed.  If you spend your entire life looking for that perfect man you are going to end up disappointed.

One thing you must remember is that for every action there is an equal and opposite reactions.

  • If you want a man with a mysterious dark brooding past, chances are he is going to come with a lot of emotional issues that come with that past.
  • There are a lot of men who love to work out and are in amazing shape, but to get to that level of physical perfection takes time and dedication.  Time which could be spent on other ventures.
  • Want spontaneity and adventure? Well there are tons of men who have that except one of their spontaneous and adventurous activities is bedding different women.

I’m not saying you need to settle, I’m saying love is not loving someone for their perfections, but for their imperfections.  If you can not love someone who is flawed then that might be the reason why you have not found the person who compliments you.

Perhaps and this is just perhaps, the reason you are not able to find that complimentary man is because you thought you were supposed to be looking for a perfect man which you have been told about ever since you were a small child.

I think even Disney has realized the impact these fairy tales have on children which is why in Frozen they completely flipped the script.  The hero was a clumsy flawed man and the villain was a perfect dream of a man.   They even had a song in the movie about how the hero may be flawed, but he just needs a little fixing up.  Have a listen to the video below.

So you next time you find a potential suitor, leave the checklist and comparison chart where it belongs, bookmarking your favorite section of your fantasy novel.


Paul Wright

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