I was wondering where the best places are to meet guys. In one of your videos you mention yoga, but I work crazy hours and can’t always go to a scheduled class. What other places do you recommend? I live in a big city with tons of bars, so even narrowing down what type of bars would help (sports bars vs. clubs, etc.)
Looking forward to your answers -thanks!
There are tons of places where you can meet men. Only you can determine, whether or not these places suit you or are the type of guys you want to meet. I’ll just list a number of places and let you decide for yourself.
- Golf Course – There are a ton of men at the golf course. Even better they tend to be a bit more successful on the financial end of things. Grab a girlfriend and wait to join another group to make up a foursome for 18 holes of golf. Or go to the country club for lunch and wait till you see a man that catches your eye.
- Dog Park – If you love animals head down to the local dog park and have a nice walk. Even better, buy some doggie treats, wait till you see a really cute guy and found out which dog is his. Then position yourself fairly close to where the dog is playing and drop a few doggie treats by your feet. When the dog starts going crazy over you, the good looking owner will come running to apologize. At which point you can explain that his dog must love you. This is only going to win you points.
- Coffee Shop – There is a constant rotation of fresh new men coming into a coffee shop each day. Grab a coffee, sit down, wait and watch all the men that will parade in front of you. There are even coffee shops with board games now. Pull out a board game and see if a cute guy wants to join you.
- Gym – One of the highest concentration of men in one area. These guys tend to be a bit more health conscious, so you know they look after themselves. Just find a good looking guy, go to a piece of equipment close to him, fumble around with it a bit and then ask him if he knows how to use it properly. Most guys will be more then happy to help out. You might also want to try a running club.
- Laundromat – Everybody has to wash their clothes, or at least I hope they do. Unlike the grocery store where everybody is on the move, making it hard to connect, at the laundromat guys remain in one area while they wait for their clothes to wash and dry. Now you can kill two birds with one stone, wash your clothes and meet men.
- Tech Stores – Men love having the newest piece of high tech equipment and most tech stores are filled with guys wanting to check out all the latest gadgets. Whether its the just released high definition plasma 3D screen or the greatest new piece of tech that allows you to text friends, while you call your boss, as you play video games and surf the net all at the same time and only fits in the palm of your hand. Head to the tech store and instead of asking the guy that works there for help, get the cute guys opinion on what he likes and why.
- Seminar/Conferences – Business conferences and seminars are meant for people to network at, now just make sure you network with all the cute guys. Try attending conferences that have more interest for men. For example: the auto show, tech conferences, or the fitness conference. Make sure you have your business cards and get ready to hand them out.
- Friends – While not a place, your female friends are one of your best resources for meeting new guys, especially female friends that are already in a relationship or married. Let them know you are single and you are looking. Most female friends want to help set up their friends, so they will pour through their database of males to find someone you might like. Don’t let them setup a blind date, instead organize a night out, or drinks at a friends and have them invite all the cute guys they know.
- Lounges – When it comes to bars I prefer lounges, because its a more relaxed environment, and the music isn’t as loud, so you can hear another person talk. The lounge is designed for people to meet each other, where as a bar is designed to fool you. The lights are extremely low, the music drowns out any conversation, so you are never sure what you are going to meet until they turn on the ugly lights.
- Sports Bars – These bars are wall to wall men. However, if you have no interest in sports you are probably going to have a hard time in there. Also know that if you meet a man in there he is likely going to be a die hard fan of the time playing. So don’t be surprised if he always wants to have beer with the guys every time the yankees are playing. Or you can head straight to the event, there will be even more men, but less opportunity to get a chance to talk to them.
I know you said you don’t have time for a scheduled class, but if in the near future you do find you can fit one in, try checking out these options:
- Evening Classes – Many high schools or community centers will classes on a number of different subjects. Try finding a hobby or subject that you have always wanted to learn how to do. This could be anything from photography, guitar lessons, learning to cook, pottery, etc…
- MeetUp Groups – If you have an interest anything there is more then likely a meetup group for it. Just check out meetup.com, type in an interest and where you live and a number of groups will popup. Find one that fits your schedule and meet a whole group of new guys.
- Dance Class – 9 times out of 10, if a guy is in a dance class he is there to meet women. Pick a style you really want to learn and get out there. There will be more women there then men, but most women will just want to learn to dance and not have much interest in the guys. When you get partnered up with a good looking guy, take advantage of the opportunity. The great part is once you meet a guy, he can become both your dance partner in class and in life. You might even be able to show off your dance moves at your wedding.
I think meeting guys is actually easy – we’re everywhere! What you need to do is meet the right guys. My advice is to find things you love doing and invest yourself in them. Sociologists talk about ‘third places’ – those spaces people go to that aren’t home or work. Whether it’s a photography class, sports club, gym or open mic night at a blues bar, these are vital social outlets. By choosing one that meshes well with you (rather than being somewhere you go just to meet guys) it will mean anyone you do come across is likely to be on the same page as you. A sports bar might be full of single guys, but if you don’t have a clue about who is leading the NBA and couldn’t care less about next season’s NFL draft, you are going to have to work harder to find some common ground to build on. Meeting someone in a place that fits who you are and what you want from life increases the odds that they will be like minded and there will be something more substantial than just an attraction to the relationship. With a crazy schedule it is going to be hard to deepen those connections, but if the meeting place is somewhere you want to be regardless of the guy, it will be easier to prioritize it. What’s more, even if you don’t meet Mr Right immediately, you are still enriching yourself and doing something you enjoy. Rather than wasting a rare night off looking for a man, you’re making yourself that bit more interesting, that bit deeper and even more attractive for when he does show up!
On the surface, it sounds like a simple question. However, you have to really dig much deeper to truly answer it. Specifically – what type of men are you seeking, and what kind of relationship do you want?
As a guess (and a safe one, since it covers most folks), you’re likely seeking someone with enough similar interests to yours so that you have something to talk about – maybe even future experiences to share. So you have to find the places where they’re going to be most active.
Although I sound like my mother when I write this, you might consider church functions. If a guy goes to functions like this, he’s very likely looking for a woman with similar values, and for a relationship more than dating. He’ll also be very particular in who he asks out, so be prepared for lots of discussion before he asks. This isn’t the best choice if you’re the type of woman that has no problem asking a man out, as traditional values are more common here.
Maybe you’re looking for an outgoing guy. My favorite suggestion here is to find a bar with karaoke. Yes, you’ll have to endure a lot of bad singing, but most of the guys that brave the stage are going to be fun to be around, even if they can’t carry a tune in a bucket. And the ones that can sing, they’re showcasing a skill and a passion, which is a sneak peak into their souls. Even if you don’t sing, go hang out a few times and watch from a distance – you’ll be to pick out the partiers from the performers in no time.
Finally, a note about trying online dating. In this field, women have it made! From my experiences, women are approached about ten times more often than men. The real trick is getting to know someone thru a profile page is a tricky thing, and you have to be willing to go on a lot of first dates. Be smart about it – meet somewhere public for coffee and chat. This is going to sound ridiculous, but my suggestion is a Waffle House or some similar 24-hour place. It’s brightly lit, law enforcement tends to be nearby often, and you can stay as long or as short as you like – maximum safety and options. Plus it will give you both something to laugh about!
By reading and accepting this article you agree to all of the following: You understand that this is simply a set of opinions, personal experience and anecdotal evidence (and not advice). Decoding Men is not responsible for any use of the information in this article.