Men’s Breakup Language Decoded

Many men have a difficult time breaking up with women because men are scared of women’s emotions.  Especially when a man doesn’t feel the same way the woman does.  Women are very in touch with their emotions and have no problem expressing themselves to others.  If a man upsets a woman by breaking up with her, he knows he is in for an emotion explosion that will overwhelm him.  To reduce the blow back, many men will breakup with the woman they are dating in a more subtle way.

Here are some common phrases men use to breakup with women:

I’m just too busy: No man is ever too busy to be with a woman they love.  If a man is telling you he is too busy, its because he isn’t that into you.  Which means, he would rather work, do yard work, fix his house, watch tv and/or anything else then spend time with you. He is not too busy, he is just too busy for you.

I don’t think I can make you happy: This is a common comment when a man receives lots of complaints from a woman.  He will realize that he is tired of hearing the complaining and trying to make the woman happier.  He would rather just end it and find someone else.  Essentially what he is saying is that he would be happier with someone else and then assumes that obviously since she is complaining so much she would probably be happier as well.

I feel like I’m wasting your time: This is essentially a man saying he doesn’t see a future with the woman.  There is something about the woman that has caused him to lose interest in having a serious relationship.  Therefore, he is letting the woman know, it would probably be better for you to date else where because this is as far as this is ever going to go.

I thought I was ready for a relationship, but I don’t think I am: He is ready for a relationship, he just doesn’t want to have a relationship with the woman he is breaking up with.

One common factor among all of these breakup attempts is that the man is putting the blame on himself.  He is trying reduce the amount of pain he is going to cause you by saying the problem is with himself.  That way you can go and find someone else you will be better matched with and be happy.

The problem with these breakup attempts is that many women don’t hear the underlying message and feel a need to help fix the guy.  They let the guy know that they don’t mind and that you can both work on the problem together.  The problem is that he doesn’t want to work on the problem which is why he is pointing it out, taking the blame and trying to bow out. He is intentionally trying to make himself look bad, so you can feel happy about the relationship ending.

For more decoding of men’s language: Man Talk Translated


Paul Wright

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