Why is it so hard to find a good man? Basically it comes down to three things 1) When men are not serious about getting married they are not very selective about the women they date. 2) Once a man realizes he is ready to get married he becomes much picker about the women he chooses to date. With the ratio of non-serious men greatly outnumbering the serious mature quality men in this world and the quality men being extremely selective it is very hard to find a good man. 3) Lastly quality men are easily dissuaded from continuing to date someone they don’t see a future with. Let me explain.
When men are younger and have absolutely no interested in getting married they’re really not that selective when it comes to dating or sex. Most of these guys are just thinking about one thing and that’s SEX! They’ll do just about anything to get it. I’m sure you have witnessed some of the more interesting ways guys have tried to. The sad thing is many men will just about have sex with anybody as long as they’re female. Obviously not one of the finer points of the male species.
What you have to understand is biologically the reason why men are so carefree about the type of women they date is because there are no consequences. Think about it this way during the caveman era a man could have sex with a woman and the next day leave. He doesn’t have to worry about anything. Sex was just sex for his enjoyment. The woman on the other hand might end up having a child from this encounter. Now she is left taking care of this child all by herself. Nature has biologically endowed women to understand this and by knowing this women tend to be very selective and picky about the men they choose to date and/or have sex with.
So why does men wanting to sleep with every woman they see make it so hard to find a good man? Well besides the fact that they largely outnumber the men looking for a serious relationship. Its like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. When a man does grow out of that phase and realize he is mature enough and ready for a serious relationship, he is no longer going to want to just date casually. He will reach a point where he will want to have children and more importantly he will want to be there to help raise those children.
Now that he wants to create a family, he will become much more selective and picky about the women he chooses to date. He wants to have children and to ensure their greatest chance of survival he must pick a woman who has stronger genetics. His old method of casual dating and sex no longer applies. A good quality mature man interested in starting a family is looking for a life partner, someone who he can share the responsibility of raising a family with. Just having sex with women is not going to help him find this life partner.
The biggest problem is the strategies women learn to attract men tend to only work for men who are still not interested in getting married and starting a family. They work on men who are only looking for sex or at most casual dating. Once women attract these guys they become upset saying there are no good men left or that its hard to find a good man. While it is true there are fewer men who are sincere about finding a serious relationship, its much easier to attract these men if you use the right bait.
These men change their prioritizes, they stop looking for just sex and appearance. Now they are looking for someone who is kind, generous, nurturing and feminine. To find and attract these type of men you have to really know how to present yourself properly. These type of men do not waste time. If these men think you might not be what they are looking for in a woman, they will disappear faster then they appeared. Remember he is not looking for sex. He wants to spend his time looking for the right woman not wasting his time with any woman.
A man that is looking to get married and wants children can be convinced that you are not the one very easily. That is why its so hard to find a good man, because the ones that are good and ready for a deep meaningful and serious relationship are very selective. The problem is these men are scarce, selective and easily turned off.
How do you weed through all these men to find the ones that are serious about having a relationship? Easy, any guy who wants to have sex immediately is not serious. He wants sex and that is it. If he can have sex on a regular basis even better, but the chances of him seeing or wanting anything serious are slim. Guys like this tend to use lines like “If I don’t have sex by the third date I’m not interested.” (yes, men do use this line) Let’s be honest he wasn’t interested in you in the first place. He is just interested in having sex and figures if he pays for a meal three times, that like a prostitute he should be given sex in exchange.
A guy that has reached a point in his life where he is looking for more in his life, will want to spend more time getting to know you. He will be ok with holding off from having sex. He will want to spend lots of time with you, so he can see whether or not you are both compatible. He will ask questions about you, your family and friends, your future goals, and what you want in life.
The best way to find a good man is to withhold sex until you are in a monogamous relationship. A monogamous relationship does not mean after three dates. It could be anywhere from 3 to 6 months. Take your time, go slow and make him prove to you that he is a good man by waiting for sex. Remember a good man will take his time in getting to know you and make sure you are a good woman before he commits to a monogamous relationship. So make sure he focuses on getting to know you instead of sex.
A man that is not interested in getting to know you will lose interest very quickly after realizing you are not going to give it up so easily. Many women are heartbroken by this, but you shouldn’t be. Believe me when I say this, if a guy doesn’t want to date you because you won’t have sex with him immediately or on his time schedule:
1) Was never interested in getting to know you and therefore is not rejecting you just idea that he can’t have sex whenever he wants it.
2) Chances are high that he is not very good in bed and is a very selfish lover. A good male lover needs to understand that women must trust and feel comfortable with a partner that they have sex with. Developing that kind of trust takes time.
3) If all he wants is sex, how many other women has he done this with. Do you really want to be with a guy that obviously sleeps with tons of women?
Sincerely,
Paul Wright
paulwright@decodingmen.com
That was the biggest load of garbage I read. Better to have read an article about the origin of dinsaurs than that crap. WTF?
@WTF I’m always looking for ways to improve the articles we write and how better to explain the minds of men. Obviously you didn’t like it, but what was it about the article that you didn’t like? What were you hoping to learn? If you let me know I can better tailor something that might answer your questions.
Sincerely,
Paul Wright
Summed up to the T. I am a 21 year old male and i at this point in my life. It feels like as you mentioned, every just wants to have sex and meeting a quality person is very hard, and time consuming. Every single characteristic you mentioned about a quality man holds true with me and it is very frustrating because even most women my age have not reached this point in their life; they act like they want a serious relationship but have many issues to work on and or going from one bad relationship to another wondering why, and never taking the time to take a step and back and reevaluate themselves. Your article really speaks to me and i have saved it as a favorite, thank you.
it should be more like a real good honest woman that doesn’t cheat is very hard to find nowadays for us serious men that are looking.