What Makes A Man Tick?

Our Biological Assignments

Like it or not, we are all indelibly bound to our biological roles.  The sexes are equally capable in a variety of tasks: men can nurture, and women can be leaders and warriors.  But at the end of the day, a man is a man, and a woman is a woman.

We men are inside these beastly bodies gazing out upon a beauty and serenity that is foreign to our nature, but that we long to participate in.  You ladies spend your lives looking out upon a brutal world from inside the most tender and beautiful work of art imaginable.  Your vulnerabilities and needs are much different from ours.  You seek security, stability, and interactive love; men seek…you.

If you want to gain insight into the inner workings of a man’s mind, we really have to start at the beginning—and we have to look at your mind as well.  As our needs and natural roles are quite different, it is only natural that men and women fall in love in very different ways, and for very different reasons.  Let’s try to pull back the sequined curtain and see if we can shed just a little light on the secrets of the sexes.

In The Beginning…

One traditional story tells us that the man was created first, but to my mind, I think the woman must have preceded him.  Think about it.  Genetically, women have two X chromosomes; men have an X and a Y.  Now, this is not a scientific theory, but it just seems logical to me that XX must be the pure formula for a human being, and XY is a mutation created by nature to service the human being—the woman, the better half.  However it happened, the fact is that the two complement each other perfectly.

The first laws that early humans had to deal with were the laws of the jungle: kill or be killed; he who hesitates is lost; only the fittest will survive.  Survival was everything, and the scripts that nature wrote for us were a function of survival.

Quality vs. Quantity

The woman was assigned a script based on quality.  It was her role to ensure the survival of her single offspring from her single egg.  It was up to her to select a mate of good genetic character to fertilize her egg and pass his strength and intelligence (and hers) to the next generation.  Quality control was her assurance that her child would have the best chance at survival.  To this day, women are biologically attracted to strength and ruggedness.  If she could also domesticate her man, then he could provide security for her and the fragile young ones.  She could stay close to the nest to nurture and protect the children, while the man went out to forage for food and hunt wild game.

A man, conversely, was born into a role that revolved around quantity.  He was given a million sperms with the assignment of sowing his virtually unlimited supply of seeds.  His method of ensuring survival of the species was by being a prolific lover.  If he made fifty babies with fifty women, then surely the law of averages would have a few grow strong and be able to survive in the jungle.  For him, it is simply a numbers game.  Consequently, a man’s first instinct is to find a woman who is, well…female.  As long as she is healthy and fertile, she is fair game.

Of course, men are no longer cavemen, to be sure; but that biological script—though tamed and civilized—remains.  Don’t misunderstand.  These role assignments that are scripted by nature are not what men and women consciously think.  These are an undercurrent of subconscious chemical and biological drives that manifest themselves in certain thoughts and behavior.

The Queen

Nature has assigned the woman to be the anchor of a relationship.  Of course, in modern society roles can be reversed, and, with the dog-eat-dog world of jungle survival far behind us, a modern woman can break the chains that tie her to primordially scripted obligations.  However, men still rely on her scripts; we simply do not have the drives or the instincts for making and keeping a functional home.  In this context, it is up to the woman to create a home to safely raise children that will thrive and carry on the species.  She is the centerpiece of a functional household—the queen, lording over hearth and home.  It doesn’t matter that she works from 9 to 5, right along with her man.  The stability and success of a relationship hinges on her.

Let’s take it one step further to demonstrate the validity of that concept.  Start with this question: If mankind was born into a world of chaos where “kill or be killed” was the rule of the day, how could human beings have ever risen out of that Darwinian jungle and into a genteel, civilized society?  It had to be man himself who somehow chose to domesticate himself and make the world kinder and gentler.  Logic will tell you that men were not the source of civilization; we still can’t even get over our own testosterone long enough to stop and ask for directions.  Only a woman could tame the wild beast of raw human nature. You were born tame and nurturing.  Men are born wild and wandering.

Understanding and embracing the biological signals and scripts that play themselves out beneath the surface may not seem like the modern, liberated thing to do.  But denying biology can leave you with blind spots that set you up for a terrible fall.  It happens everyday.  If you can learn to wield your lion tamer’s whip and chair so that they are never noticed, then you can effectively control your life and your man on a subconscious level that will bring you stability and, who knows, maybe even bliss.


John Morgan


Paul’s Thoughts

John, I’d just like to thank you for writing that article.  I don’t think I could have said it any better myself.  While not overly politically correct, it does bring up some solid differences between men and women. You must understand that biology and a man’s inherent makeup are not the only driving factors for a relationship, but without them men and women would probably not have much to do with each other.

While being politically correct has its value, it does not change a man’s biology or inherent urges.  Men are attracted to women that thousands of years of evolution has taught men to be attracted to for the best survival of their children.  Just as most women are attracted to the strong, powerful Alpha male that would ensure the woman’s survival in a dangerous wilderness. Now in today’s day and age this type of thinking makes no sense, but thousands of years of survival has taught our genetic makeup something else.  The point is you can either understand these subconscious urges and use them to your advantage or as you said John, deny them and hope a man can overcome thousands of years of genetic programing that he doesn’t even fully understand.

If you would like to share your opinion on the subject or have something that you would like to add, We would love to hear it.  Just add your comment below to let us know what you think.


Paul Wright

P.S. Do you have a question you would like John to answer, or any of the other guys at Decoding Men:

1) Please be specific when you ask your question.  Asking questions like “Why are men jerks?” is not enough information to on on, to provide a decent response.  What exactly did this guy do to make you feel like he was a jerk?

2) At the end of the email, give us your initials and tell us where you are from.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *