You’re a woman. You were born to attract a man. Inexplicably, many bright, beautiful women stress over how to get a man’s attention, while at the same time there are a thousand men within a couple miles of your door sitting at home alone and dreaming of being close to a woman just like you. We will talk about some attraction techniques in future installments, but our first forays into the sexual jungle are based around the natural order of things. According to nature, just put yourself out there, and the men will come. Today we will look into the natural techniques you need to follow in order to transform his initial attraction into everlasting love.
Get Him Close & Keep Him Close
You have a distinct advantage in initiating a romance, because you are the magnet. Men are born wanting you. As soon as he gets near your tantalizing treats, half his brain shuts off, while yours awakens. It doesn’t matter if your man is Justin Bieber or Kid Rock; he can’t help but be enchanted and slightly sedated by the possibilities that your mere presence represents. This doesn’t mean that he’s just out for “one thing,” but let’s face it: If it weren’t for sex, he’d be shooting hoops with the guys, and you’d be out shopping with the girls. There is a natural explanation for men and women being attracted to one another. Civilization has just removed the element of instant gratification.
You already know how to get a man’s attention because you understand his first instinct. But getting him close and keeping him close are two very different things. He is initially attracted to you primarily for the irresistible candy that all women have in common. But he will stay around for those things he discovers in you that are special and unique only to you.
Bear in mind that, for a man—at least for his inner caveman—the hunt ends with the conquest. His inborn script will tell him, “Been there, done that; time to move on.” If you give too much too soon, you risk being marginalized in his mind as a fling or a notch on his belt buckle. Fortunately, you were born with so much more self-control than men, so you can choose the pace at which you dispense the goodies. Don’t worry, and never forget: your body is wonderland. Your touch, your smile, your eyes, your scent, your kiss—and your possibilities—will keep him coming back for more. His instincts will bring him close and keep him interested as long as possibilities exist. It is up to you to build that sexual tension and keep hope alive for him.
Turn His Lust into Love
Remember also that your goal is love, but his goal is you. It is up to you to convert the natural lust in his veins into love. Don’t hate him for his lust, as it is the seed of love for a man. Nurtured by your closeness and tenderness, it will grow roots in your relationship, and only then will it bear fruit. You must get him to bond with you on a human level of friendship, emotion, and compassion if you want him to fall in love. Let the offshoots of his passion find the fertile ground of your emotional support, and feed that connection of his passion with the virtuous nutrients of your compassion. Become a part of his life. Share the daily banalities as well as the little adventures.
Go to the supermarket together on grocery day, and do laundry together (you can fold his clothes, but that’s all). Go to the museum or to the park; go fishing or to an amusement park. Go with him for a night of beer and billiards. Whatever it is, work yourself into the stories that make up his life and his thoughts. Become a part of the thoughts and images of his life. Never be a threat; always be supportive. If you want him to love you, he has to need you, so you have to rise above the crowd instead of being just some girl. When it has to be your smile, your encouragement, and your touch, then he will be on his way to discovering (much to his surprise) that he is hopelessly in love with you. Compassion must precede passion. Your best shot at love is to get between his ears before he gets between your legs. Mature men, like those on their second time around, may be able to develop a relationship on both levels at once, but younger, emotionally inexperienced men cannot.
Let Him Fall, Don’t Make Him Fall
Dianna Ross was right all those decades ago when she sang You Can’t Hurry Love. Chances are, you will be ready for love and fall in love well before he does. You have a much better idea of the true basis of a lasting love than he does. It is instinctual to you, but not to him. Love, for him, represents a trap of lost freedoms and a commitment that will end all the growth and excitement in his life. You can’t pull him into that dark reality against his will; he will reject it.
You can’t make him fall in love, and you certainly cannot nag him into love. You cannot tell him how much more you put into the relationship than he does or how much more you love him than he loves you, and then expect that to bring him closer. He is much more likely to run. At this point in the relationship, you are the farmer and the cultivator. You are picking him from among the many that wanted you, and you can’t pluck him from the vine until he is ripe. Yes, he may have picked you out of the crowd at first—but for all of the wrong reasons. Now you have to let him pick you all over again, for the right reason—love.
Love is not what he expects it to be, so it will have to sneak up on him from behind, perhaps when he least expects it. When you “catch” love, you will have to let it go so that it can track him down and deliver him to you at his own pace. Men don’t catch love, as you do; love has to catch them. He will be in the shower one morning rinsing shampoo out of his hair when, suddenly, his thoughts and emotions converge on that significant, compelling force that has become the centerpiece of his life and part of his fiber—you. Now he will see the true and delightful paradise that love really is, and he will gladly join you there.
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