Have you ever heard a man say the phrase “They must all be lesbians.” I know I have heard this from a number of friends myself. I can’t stand it when a guy actually says it. I usually have to shake my head and walk away because the reason they are saying this is to protect their egos. We all know this and hopefully they knows this deep down inside.
What usually happens is the man in question will walk up to a woman or group of women, proceed to hit on them and when they reject him, he return to his friends head down and tail between his legs. Just so he won’t look too bad, he will explain to his friends the reason they were not interested was because they were all lesbians.
Now we all know that the chances of every woman that has rejected a man being a lesbian is slim. So there must be other reasons as to why these men were rejected. How about that they were rude and inconsiderate? They smelled bad or were completely drunk out of their mind? They clearly only wanted sex? They were complete assholes?
Don’t get me wrong I understand why you would reject these men, and after making a statement like “They must all be lesbians” clearly we can add childish and immature to the list. With that said, women actually make a similar comment when men reject or show no interest in them.
“They are just intimidated by me”
In a man’s eyes this statement is exactly the same as the lesbian statement. I’m sure there are a few men who are intimidated, just as some of the women those men hit on might have been lesbians, but the large majority of men are not intimidated.
As a man there are few things I find intimidating:
- A 7 foot tall 300 lb gorilla is intimidating
- A man holding a gun to my face is intimidating
- A giant mob chasing me is intimidating
Things I don’t find intimidating:
- A confident woman
- A woman that makes more money then me
- A woman with a more successful career then me
If you have found that in the past you have made this comment, then like these men you really have to take a look at how you are coming across the people you are interested in. Perhaps the reason these men might be rejecting you is not because you intimidate them (as men are usually intimidated by physical acts of aggression) but they see something that they are not interested in.
There are many reasons why a man might not be interested yet appear to be intimidated
1) Too Masculine: Most men like feminine women, if a woman is too masculine we will back away if she shows interest. We don’t mind having masculine women as friends but not as a sexual partner.
2) Argumentative Loud Mouth: The last thing we want to do with someone we just meet is get into a huge argument with an extremely opinionated trucker. I know lots of women think they are showing how smart and confident they are but really they just come off as being assholes and I’m sorry nobody wants to hang around assholes.
3) No Time: If a woman appears to have no time in her life to fit a man into it, then a man will move on. A man is not going to force himself into a woman’s life, a man needs a woman to need him in her life and if no need exist he will look elsewhere to find a place where he can fit in.
4) No Personality: If all a woman does is focus on a few things in life for example just her work and her cats/dogs then chances are pretty good a guy won’t have much to talk to you about. Essentially they are boring to be around and nobody wants to be around a boring person. Especially when you are out having a good time.
5) Men Are Not Attracted To What Women Are Attracted Too: Many women are attracted to successful men because genetically these men can provide the protection and secure women require for childbearing. You must understand men do not have these needs or urges, so being more successful does not make a woman more attractive to a man. Men genetically are more drawn to different characteristics.
6) Immature: Just as men who say all women are lesbians suffer from a lack of confidence and show immature characteristics, so do women who say men must be intimidated by their confidence. If a woman was truly so confident and mature, then they don’t need to tell anybody the reason why a man turned them down. They don’t need to put down another person to make themselves feel better. This is not confidence this someone who suffers from low esteem trying to protect their appearance around others. Just like in men, it is not an attractive quality.
So the next time a guy isn’t interested in you, and you find yourself about to say “He must be intimidated.” Stop yourself and realize, perhaps he is not intimidated. Perhaps he saw something he just didn’t like. From there you can either try and figure out what he didn’t like and try to change that characteristic. Or just realize that not everybody in this world is going to like you and just move on and focus on the people in this world that do.