Modern technology is making more and more people anti-social. Before you jump on me and tell me how much better your life is with your cellphone hear me out first. Last weekend I met up with some friends for drinks at a local lounge. If there had not been music playing all you would have heard was the clicking of everybody in the place texting each other. Nobody was talking to the people who were actually sitting right in front of them physically.
Its true every once in a while everybody would get together to take a group picture so they could put it on facebook, but besides that there was no physical human interaction.
Later that night a mutual friend of ours was having a get together at his place so we all decided to head there. I’ll be honest I found out about it via text. I’m not completely against texting.
Shortly after arriving at my friends place a group of 5 women walk in, they don’t say boo to a single person and all proceed to sit themselves down on a single couch as if joined by the hip. Once seated in unison they all break out their cellphones and begin to text.
These women seem a bit uncomfortable and since it doesn’t seem like they know anybody I thought I would be nice to say hi and introduce them to other people. Well after 5 minutes of them staring at me like I was insane from trying to have a conversation with them I decided I’d leave them alone. Back to texting they went the minute I left.
The funny part is after hours of texting one woman turns to her friends and says “Its so hard to meet guys in this city.” I’m guessing the guy she had been texting had decided not to text back. I couldn’t help myself I just had to say something. I pointed out to her that she is right it is hard to meet someone looking through a phone screen all night. Here she was at a house party surrounded by men with a ratio of men to women being 3:1 and she has spent the whole night texting.
Defending herself she explained to me how awkward and uncomfortable it is to talk to people, even talking on the phone can be uncomfortable. Its just much easier to text instead. Clearly I was strange for not understanding this.
I have to admit I was blown away by this. The next day I called every female friend I had and asked them the same question and basically the consensus came down to depending how old you were. If your entire adult dating life has consisted of using a cellphone then becoming involved in a human conversation is uncomfortable.
If that is true, I feel bad for the future dating generations. Dating is very hard, and meeting quality men even harder. Now with modern technology basically blocking any form of human interaction its going to be impossible to find a partner. Technology which is supposed to make your life easier is in fact becoming a major barrier for people to meet. Whether or not you think technology is helping I will tell you one thing you are more likely to find a great guy with your head up talking to the people around you then you are texting.
Sincerely,
Paul Wright
paulwrigth@decodingmen.com
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Mike’s Opinion
Paul I couldn’t agree with you more. Now I gotta admit I use my cell a lot and communicate with friends, family and my girlfriend via text all the time. But it isn’t how I meet women or establish a relationship. I find people have the time to think things through and rewrite the text message so you don’t see or get the original genuine reactions and emotions. As well, for me eye contact, body language or how I feel in the presence of the girl while we’re interacting and feeling each other out is very very important. I admit there’s lots of pressure on everyone to be liked and make a good impression – but I say take a chance and interact. This way you give yourself a fair chance to see if you’re really feeling this person – in person, before you spend time and energy establishing a relationship over text which might be completely different once you’re alone together for a long period of time.
Mike Shepherd