“You can’t win them all.” Any good coach will tell you that. Ultimately, the more battles you take on, the more you are bound to lose. This applies to relationships as well. Women who routinely nit-pick and start arguments to prove their point are inevitably bound to lose. While they may not lose the argument, they may lose their man. So you might win some, but you just lost one.
It’s not that men don’t like to admit when they’re wrong or when they’ve fallen short of the mark. We’re wrong so often that it could become quite tedious if we had to document every instance. Believe it or not, men appreciate a woman who can point out their faults and essentially make them a better man. But the woman has to choose her battles. You can’t change everything you don’t like about your man right away; attempting to do so could have disastrous results on your relationship.
If you pick too many battles, then your man won’t think you’re trying to change his less than appealing habits or behaviours, he’ll just think you’re nagging him. When dealing with men, you must choose your battles wisely. Choosing your battles wisely means knowing what to address and perhaps most importantly, the right time to address it. It’s a delicate process, but smart women have this art mastered and are able elicit desirable changes in their man effortlessly. How are they able to do this? It is because they take the time to understand the very nature of their man. Additionally, they have formed the type of bond with their man where they are like his best friend. This last part is very important. A man’s best friend can tell him anything, criticize him about anything and the man will not take offense or become defensive. A man won’t feel like his best friend is trying to change him, but rather, help him.
Here’s a helpful tip: If you want to discuss something you want your man to change, timing is everything. It is important to understand that when a man returns home from work, there is one thing he looks forward to in his home, peace. As such, that is probably not the best time to pick an argument. Learn your man, whether it’s after he eats, or after he’s watched the game, find out when he’s at peace. Once your man is at peace, that’s the best time to discuss things you would like to see change. Scientific research indicates that after sex is probably the best time to bring up an issue you are having with your man. Scientifically speaking, sex lowers blood pressure and overall stress. To summarize a study conducted by researchers from Scotland who reported their findings in the journal “Biological Psychology,” men who have had intercourse respond better to stressful situations. There’s a number of physiological reasons for this which I won’t bore you with, but it’s helpful to know that this is the time when most men experience moments of clarity and are at peace.
Back to choosing your battles…It is worth considering that if you want to change everything about your man, perhaps he’s not the man you should be with. If that is not the case, then it is advisable that you prioritize the issues you have with your man and strategically tackle the most pressing ones. There’s nothing more bothersome to a man than a woman who constantly nags him and scrutinizes every single action he does. Doing this makes a man feel like he’s not in control. It strips him of his manhood. You have to let him be the man. Smart woman know how to make men feel like they are the man even if it is
the woman who is running the show, which by the way, we don’t mind at all. Indeed behind most strong men is an even stronger woman.
Choose your battles wisely and strategically, and you will be able to elicit the desired changes you require in your man and he won’t hate you for it, rather he’ll appreciate you for making him a better man.
Sincerely,
John Morgan