Alas, so many women love intrigue of the bad boy. He is mysterious, rebellious, and has that I don’t care kind of attitude. His image is rough, strong and bold. His body speaks volumes, his eyes pierce a woman’s soul and his edge can not be described. In the eyes of many women he is the ultimate man.
This is where the problem starts. Just look at the title “bad BOY” These men that women so desperately search for because they think they are true men, are nothing more then boys pretending to be men. Lets take a deeper look into the difference between Real Men and Bad Boys.
* Accepts responsibility
* Follows through on his word
* Holds himself to a higher standard
* Always there when you need him
* Helps to make the people around him better people
* Thinks of others before himself
* Protects and provides for those he loves with his life
This don’t care attitude that attracts many women carries into much of the bad boys life. Really this “I don’t care” attitude is just an illusion, because he does care more then you can ever imagine. The big difference is he only cares about himself. Much like a young child that hasn’t learned that you need to think of other people. The bad boy essentially has been emotionally stunted in a child like state.
* They are not able to accept responsibility
* They never follow through on their word
* He is never around when you need him
* You become a worst person by being around him
All this behavior stems from one behavioral trait; the bad boy is so self absorbed in his own life that he doesn’t have any time or room for anybody else in his life. He spends all his time making it look like he doesn’t care, but really the bad boy is obsessed with his image. That is why he doesn’t have time for anybody else. The reason why he is never around is because he is constantly in search of doing whatever he wants. This is the reason you get the odd call or text from him. He is horny and he wants to get off, this is why he has finally reached out to you. Then he shows up two or three hours late because he has been texting other women or friends to see if there is something better going on. The bad boy is a self absorbed, selfish, spoiled little child.
Can You Change Bad Boys
The short and simple answer is no! Why would he change? He has what he wants, when he wants it. The only time a person is ever forced to change is when they lose something very important to themselves. However, the only thing a bad boy cares enough about is himself. The only way he will ever change is when he can no longer get what he wants, when he wants it. Which mean when his looks lose their luster, his tattoos fade, and his bad boy image turns into a sad lonely old man persona. This is when he will have to change his ways. You will never be important enough to beat out his self obsession.
What About The Mystery
Oh the ever illusive mystery. There is no mystery. I knew one guy who worked very hard to present the bad boy image. After years of playing the field he finally found a woman that he wanted to marry. Within a short period of time they were married and within the same month they were divorced. This guys wife realized that there had never been any mystery. When he wasn’t answering her calls or texts, when he wasn’t pretending to live this big life, he was at home playing video games and watching cartoons from the 80s. His entire image was a lie.
What About The Real Bad Boys
That last example was a fake, but there are some real bad boys out there. These are your gang members, drug dealers, criminals and all around unpleasant individuals. Do you really want to bring a drug dealer home to meet the parents? Or better yet do you want to have a child with a man who could go to jail any minute, leaving you pennyless and a single mother?
I knew one woman who dated a man for six months or so. She thought he was absolutely amazing. He was a “Real Estate Developer” who barely ever worked, and traveled all the time. He had that mystery and intrigue that she loved and a flashy lifestyle to boot. He used to take her on trips to Vegas all the time and she had the time of her life, until she found out that he was stuffing her luggage with drugs. This bad boy was using her as a mule to ship his drugs to his customers in vegas.
Want to know why he put the drugs in her luggage? If they were found, she would get busted and he could always claim he doesn’t know who she is! Apparently, she wasn’t the only one, he had a bunch of girls he did this with, which is why he traveled all the time. You see, there is no mystery. Bad boys look out for themselves and their interests, once you understand that all the mystery goes right out the window.
I read a quote the other day and I think it really touches on the big differences between bad boys and real mean.
“A boy makes a girl jealous of other women. A man makes other women jealous of his girl.”
Essentially it comes down to the fact that you need to focus his character, not the image he presents.
Feel free to tell me what you think or feel by leaving a comment below.